As I write this post, I am surrounded by wedding paraphernalia. Place cards piled on my desk. Road signs that shout “Wedding this way!” propped against the wall. A conspicuous ivory dress calling to me from the back of my closet. And then there are the peripheral objects, filling up our routine spaces with signs of impending festivities. The cards (incoming and outgoing) perched on the shelf, supplies to feed more than just the two of us piling up on the counter. Even our little dog, Maisie, has resigned herself to a pre-wedding snooze, belly-up in the corner, exhausted from all the preparations.
For the past seven months, we’ve mostly kept the wedding debris at bay. Even if it was increasingly on our minds, we generally kept the wedding off of the kitchen table, returned relevant reading materials to their places on the shelves, and tried to make lists, not piles.
With two days left to go, however, all bets are off. I suddenly feel as if my space reflects my internal state—messy, chaotic, ridiculous, and wonderful. Our little apartment is starting to feel something like backstage at a theater. Everything points to something important that’s about to happen, something much bigger than this little space or even the two of us, scrambling to get this show on the road.
If there ever were a time to call liminal, it’s this. I can only think to compare it to finals period, when time seems to come unhinged. You fall asleep late and wake up early in an attempt to add more hours to the day, to slow down time. Your stomach feels weird, and you’ve been eating a very balanced diet of cupcakes and Doritos. You will accomplish a seemingly impossible number of tasks. Something will certainly be left undone. You are so very close to an end and a new beginning.
Over the next few days, I'm sure I will wish I could fast forward through stressful moments and slow down beautiful ones. I am looking forward to many hugs and smiles. I am so, so thankful to be marrying my sweetheart. As the whirlwind weekend begins, I am grateful that we're taking the time to acknowledge our commitment among a handful of family and friends, and I am especially excited to return to our regularly scheduled programming, to our life together.